Freedom

Through all our lives we are on the quest for freedom.

We are longing for financial freedom, freedom from all boundaries, freedom of speech, freedom of movement and so much more.

I’ve always wanted to be unbound, but so much is still binding me. No matter how often I have moved from one place to another.

After school I didn’t want to fall into the same trap as so many people do. Simply I never wanted to follow the herd. I wanted to do my thing. So, I started studying, I changed my studies, moved to another city, broke up with my boyfriend, just to get another boyfriend a few months later, then I went traveling and life went on like this for about 3 years.

Traveling, changing plans, moving, being single and then again feeling trapped in a relationship. I tried a lot of the things I wanted to try and at some point it turned out, that nothing made me freer. Still I feel the need to run and be at several places at the same time, doing lots of different things. My focus is terribly scattered and I am realizing all at once that my quest for freedom with the ways I wanted to achieve it, will never ever work.

For the last three years I have settled down, because I realized that I have tried so much, but my home is, where I am. All my troubles are coming along, no matter where I run. It was a big thing for me to settle down, get a nice flat and finally stick to my studies and serious long term plan. At the same time I have never felt freer. Because essentially freedom requires structure. Chaos is not a free place, it’s where one gets tangled up in innumerous ways.

May we all find a way to structure our life on our own and not letting outside factors structure life for us!

Abroad I felt lost so many times. I mean I had fun and the sceneries were beautiful, but I was in search of something that was always inside me. This freedom I can only find in me.
Not by adding to my To-do-list and ticking things off. This is not freedom.

I’ve observed that travelers want to tick so many places off their list that they become restless to move from one place to another.  

Freedom is having nothing on your list to tick off. It is simply doing what is needed in this moment in time for yourself in tune with the universe.

On fasting

As I am writing this, I haven’t eaten for 42 hours and it feels so great. I feel light, my mind is focused and still. All worth it. Usually one goes through different stages when fasting.

I wasn’t born an ascetic master. I too love to eat. In the past when I didn’t have set mealtimes, I would also forget eating during the day, eating what I missed during the day at night. That was a horrible idea. I slept longer, my sleep wasn’t restorative, I was very sluggish, which is strange when you are only 20 years of age.

Over the years I found Yoga, then Ayurveda. There I got my inspiration to set times for my two meals per day. The best choice ever. The beginning is always hard, but with the right focus, everything is possible. It’s just food after all. But it is so hard to get out of your habits there. I know how hard it is, I ain’t no saint, nor do I want to preach. I simply want to share the amazing tools I picked up along the way.

So, let me start.
When I fasted for the first time, it didn’t leave the best impression. I didn’t eat the whole day and was still engaging in strenuous garden work. This was a stupid idea, the next day I couldn’t get out of bed, I felt so weak, my muscles didn’t want to work at all. Very interesting experience. Other than that, I felt great though.

This first experience made me not do it for many years. Until sometime last year I started doing it twice a month for a day. This is called Ekadashi fasting, where you fast at certain stages of the moon phase (11 days after full and new moon).

It was so hard, but it didn’t stop me. 24 hours fasts were tpo easy. So, I stuck to the 40 hours fast. Having my last meal at 6 pm the day before fasting and breaking the fast at 10 pm the day after.

Why is it so worthwhile?

  • Detox!!! Do I need to say more?
  • Your mind becomes focused and still, it has only energy for the important things and that is so liberating, believe me!
  • Fasting day is a time to slow down. You may pamper yourself with a warm bath, an oil massage and give yourself all the love you need. Please do not engage in any strenuous activity. Take a walk and listen to your body.
  • Getting rid of the unnecessary body fat will feel so liberating. I don’t aim to look perfect, I just want to feel comfy and healthy in my body.
  • Yes, you are even more productive, your brain will work so efficiently, and you will get a lot done.
  • You focus on the priorities, rethink carrying old baggage along with you.

Now during quarantine I’ve gained some extra belly fat from eating rather unconsciously at times. So, I’ve decided to fast once a week for a day. It’s going so great.

  • My sensitivity is enhanced.
  • My visions are clearer.
  • I feel so joyful for no particular reason.
  • I plan next day’s meal consciously and happily. Finally, food has value again and isn’t just fuel, I can enjoy it so much the next day.
  • I feel electric currents moving through my body. Actually, I feel more energized the whole day. Although I cannot do any strenuous activity. I mean I could, but the aftereffects on the next day, aren’t something I want to necessarily experience again.

Side effects:

  • Cold hands and feet, feeling chilly. I don’t enjoy it as much in winter…
  • Hot flashes
  • Dizziness, I you feel that, sit or lie down and relax
  • Headache
  • Weird taste on your tongue and bad breath due to the detox process
  • You might have never felt your body this way. It’s an interesting ride, get to know yourself better!
  • Moody, you might want stay away from people, because you will become hangry. Don’t take that out on anyone, please.
  • Once the hangry phase is over – it usually is very strong for 2 to 3 hours – you will feel peaceful. It’s like crossing a wild river, it’s all worth it again and again.

We are very much addicted to food and used to be able to get it at any time. But it’s not smart to eat whatever whenever without sensitivity. We all lost touch with our own bodies. Over the years we took on habits due to socialization. Most of these habits are self-destructive, but we don’t even know. So why change?

That’s why I share, so you can try and share it as well. May we become more aware of what we put into our bodies. We can also save valuable food when fasting once in a while. You can save resources and money and even gain more from it, than by extracting it forcefully. Isn’t that nice?

I love it.

I know it is hard. I’ve failed many times. Here I provide you some tips to make it easier.

  • Set your determined intention in the morning to fast for your wellbeing today. Remember you do this for you not against you. Love your body and it will make it so easy for you.
  • Drink lots of water. You may also charge it with the signs shown in the image.
  • Use this day to do Yoga and Meditation.
  • Go slow
  • Take a warm shower or a bath 
  • Give yourself a massage or get one
  • Get some sunlight
  • Walk in nature
  • When you feel hungry and daydream about food. Visualize eating this food with relish. It’s a more intense experience than actually eating it, because we usually eat very unconsciously.
  • Talk to positive and encouraging people
  • Take a nap
  • Rest, enjoy and observe.
  • Approach it with a positive attitude. This will also be a test on how much stress you can take. Your body will want what it usually gets, you need to resist. This is a test how much you want to break your unhealthy habits. There you can finally break the limitations that were keeping you encaged. This is an amazing tool to show yourself how strong you are and can be. I am proud of you!
  • Celebrate yourself, be proud of yourself and give yourself love

You are doing great!

Thank you for reading 😀